Hmm Part 2
It doesn't transition too well between the two parts and the melody in the second line doesn't mesh with the string part.
But it IS an improvement. It doesn't sound drowned out by the drums, which I honestly thought were the best part of this.
You're definitely on the right path, but it still needs work. Most assuredly.
Keep trying and one day you will be able to make music that you didn't even think possible.
No offence man but this didn't catch me as anything great.
The guitar is off from the song itself and doesn't sound natural. It sounds as if it's not supposed to be there.
As for the song itself, it sounded like you took a bunch of wind sounds and long tones and mixed it together and randomly inserted notes.
Honestly, I think, as far as effort goes, this was poorly done.
Clarity is your only saving grace on this, because though I didn't personally like the song, it is very clear and it doesn't sound like things are getting messed up. Minus, ofcourse, the guitar not seeming to mix well, hence it not being anything higher than seven.
I think your biggest problem with your songs is a lot of it is sort of off beat.
The drumbeats tend to be fast and have problems connecting with themselves making it seem like everything's wrong.
The music itself also tends to be off with or without the drumbeats.
I think of all the songs I've heard, you're best so far is My Summer Love. That seems to be the one that is most well made.
Regardless, this needs work. I think that if you paid more attention to how everything mixes and sounds together, it'll come out better.
Like the guitar part in this song. While it may be a well made guitar part, it doesn't really fit the atmosphere around it, and it needlessly stands out making things sound off.
This would probabely be better without the guitar part or with an atmosphere that better fits the guitar part.
But meh, I'm no great musician.
Whether you take my advice or not, just keep in mind that the most important things in music creation are flow, atmosphere, mixture, tune, and tempo.
You could have a song that has a fast tempo, a really nice tune, and a good atmosphere. But without the flow, it sounds wrong and you end up with something way off from what could be a good song.
Anyway, have a nice day, and keep up the work.
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